John McCain always calls himself a Maverick, but if you've been paying attention, you'll know this is a load of Bush. For those of you who haven't been paying any attention,

1. shame on you
2. he's no more a Maverick than Dan Quayle is Teddy Roosevelt.

McCain has never shown any of the style, wit, guile, wisdom, charisma, or honor that would qualify him as a Maverick, but I guess kids these days don't know that. I, on the other hand, have been fortunate enough to plant my butt on both a copy of a Maverick novel and a copy of the first issue of the Maverick comic book. Let me tell you this. McCain is no

• James Garner
• Jack Kelly
• Roger Moore
• Robert Colbert
• Charles Frank
• Mel Gibson

Heck, he's not even an Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.

Don't be fooled, kids.